It is 10:30 am, on a day which is supposed to be one of two days off for now. I've been awake for around an hour and a half, and I already miss it... I crave it. In case you're not familiar with what I'm talking about, I'm referring to working out... ok well not the working out so much as the pure high you receive afterwards. Of everything I've ever tried, by far the best high I've ever experienced.
I know I didn't have this blog a month ago, we'll thank procrastination for that one, so no one has seen the struggles, no one has seen how hard it was to get up at 5am every morning when it was minus 30 outside to go up to the gym and work out. No one saw how hard it was to not open that bag of chips at night, to say no thank you when someone offered me a pop... Hell I bought cupcakes last week for my entire team, which sat at my desk for 6 hours before someone ate them all... and I didn't have a single one.
To be honest, I don't know why I succeeded. I mean my friends have been there for me when I needed them, except those who question the whole thing… but it’s not like I told them in the very beginning. Hell, I was doing this for two or so weeks before I mentioned it to anyone; and at that point it became so noticeable that people started asking questions and I had no choice. There is one person who will remain anonymous that has really helped since I told her, not so much because I rely on her to help but rather because I could… I don’t know, I guess that helps.
One of the other things I’ve noticed that have helped are to tease myself. I know that makes no sense, but I keep a bag of chips on my TV stand, somewhere that I will see every day before bed when I used to crave them. Why you ask? I have no idea; it just seems to work, constantly knowing that I COULD have them, that nothing is physically stopping me except myself. That and the fact that it is a constant reminder of how hard I’ve had to work to get out of that mind frame, to get away from simply not caring or eating because I was stressed. I guess that was a high at one point too.
I guess it also helps that I have a cheat day, or free day as I like to call it. I call it a free day because cheat implies that I’m breaking the rules and cheating, but if I’m allowed to do it, if it is part of the rules I’m really not cheating now am I? Anyway, for one day a week I can eat anything, and as much of it as I want. I know what you’re thinking that I’m just setting myself back for that one day, and hindering my progress and on some levels you’re probably right. I’ve done some research on the subject though, and it would appear that it’s like the bag of chips, if I force myself to be good for the entire week, it becomes a punishment because “I cannot ever have a hamburger again”. With a cheat day, I can have that greasy ass hamburger just not today; because I don’t feel like cheating today. That one line has worked so well, you have no idea.
I’ve also never really forced myself to not eat certain things (well, except those poison foods like chips and things, which to be honest don’t taste that good anymore). I was talking to someone a few days ago, and she was saying how when she did a competition for the same idea, she wasn’t allowed to have fruit. When I was putting together my meal plan, I looked at it and figured that I would probably want sugar, so why not use a natural sugar in fruit to counter that? Now, again I cannot stress enough that I know the exact calories, protein, carbs, and fat in everything; yes EVERYTHING that I put in my mouth now a days. It’s all tracked through countless excel spreadsheets using half a dozen programs that I’ve found, websites, and most importantly the food labels attached to food. I can tell you what exactly I ate on February 1st, how much, and how I liked it. Most people can’t tell me what they had for dinner two days ago; let alone how many glasses of pop they drink in a week.
But I don’t think that’s what’s helped me go along, I mean losing yourself in the technicalities, and documentation would definitely be a great idea… but it’s not what’s helped me. There are two other things that have helped me though. The first is something someone used to say to me all the time, “when you wake up in the morning, can you honestly say that’s the best you want to feel all day?” He was using it for other reasons, but the same concept exists here. The other is what I’ve named this blog after, “Failure is not an option.” That is what I tell myself every morning, that is what drives me because to me, it means a whole lot more than most people would think. I’ve tried in the past to do this same thing; I’ve had the same ambition to successes. I’ve even pushed myself harder, and further that I am this time but every other time I’ve failed to continue, I’ve failed to go the distance. When you’re running from a bear it’s great you’re the fastest sprinter in the world, but if you can only run for 100 meters you’re still dead.
So in short, or in long if you’ve read this entire thing, Failure is not an option… End of story.
T.
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