10%?

So, I just did some googling and it turns out that you need like 10-12% body fat in order to have a six pack. I'm not all that sure why exactly I'm suprised at this, but so much for my hopes by summer! Lol. I guess that's why people say they worked at it for years, and I guess in the end that is what makes it worth it eh? So guessing on the low side of 10%, that makes me three times what I need? God I hope my scale is wrong!

For those of you who know me personally you know the battle I've been going through lately. It's kind of a two fold issue I'm having. Number one I set a goal of wanting to be 60lbs lighter, bringing me down to 270lbs and I wanted to stay there for a while before trying to drop too much more. Being that in 2.5 months I lost the first 30, I had hesitation to do good in the next three months because than what... I love the attention I'm getting now, I love the way I feel, and I'm just over all happy. I mean, I remember the "old" days where I'd wake up feeling like shit, only get worse as the day went along before I crawled into bed bagged as shit and wanting the day to just be over. Now a days I jump into bed and try to fall asleep as fast as I can because the sooner the next day comes the sooner I get to go back to the gym. In the words of Arnold "when I lift weights it's like I'm cuming" lol.

The problem with all that was the fact that if I reach my goal than what? This was never suppose to be something I do for life I mean one can only get so small right? All my research was about losing the weight not becoming the this big mass of muscle... But to think that if I reach the goal this is over?... (I know it's never over, this is for life but still...)

The other problem is simply what if I don't meet what I did last time? I mean in two and a half months to lose 30 lbs is a HUGE accomplishment... what if in this three month period I cannot do the same thing? Now sure why exactly I've divided it up though... I mean, why can't it just be one six month period? Or rather "the rest of my life"... OK I do know why... three months is nothing, three months brings me to Summer... that's a drop in the bucket when you think the past 25 years I've looked the way I did... Now, to say even the next 25 years I'm going to HAVE to work at this; that's a long time and a huge comitment. I guess my question is why does this have to be a "I'm going to HAVE to work at this" kind of thing... I love this, I love this feeling and for the most part would't trade it for the world... why am I forcing myself to do something I love? Better yet, am I forcing myself or just telling myself I'm forcing myself so that it's easier to justify to those people who question why I'd wanna do this for life? I guess in the end all I have is questions, and a looming bed time with the worlds strongest desire to get to the gym tomorrow morning. With that, I'd like to leave you with one more question... Do we do what we love, or love what we do?

Success is limited, I am not.

T.