The first day, of the rest of my life

Well here I stand, nearly two years later.  A lot has happened in this time actually, but the main thing relevant to this would be the knee injury.  Just over a year ago I slipped in the gym and dislocated my knee.  Well long story short I tore out a lot of the important stuff when I slipped and was pretty tied up for about 6 months before I could walk without crutches again, and unfortunately in that time I gained back all my bad habits and the weight associated with them.  Today as it stands, I weighed in at 330 lbs or just short of it by about .2 of a lbs.

At the time, I justified the constant takeout food by the fact I was unable to cook for myself, as I could not stand long enough to do the dishes let alone cook a small meal.  This made sense and in all honesty, I'm not sure what else I could have done.  Having a roommate who's unhelpful on the best of days, and a girl friend who decided it would be a good idea to cheat on me, then tell me that it really meant nothing but she wasn't sorry, I really had no other choice.  The problem is that after my knee was healed, after I could walk and after I could have cooked I kept up the bad habits and bowed to the cravings like a slave to his master.  I horrible analogy but even until today I am a slave to crap.

So here I sit, six months after my knee has been healed realizing that I need to change now, I need to go back to the way I was for a year... probably the best year of my so far reasonably short life in all honesty.  As I always tell my friends if I'm quiet you know I'm happy which would explain the fact it's been two years since I posted on this blog.

I know how much work it is to do the impossible, well not the impossible it's just I've seen so many people try and fail, and I've made weak ass attempts prior that I know how hard this journey is, I know what it does to my body and more importantly my mind that it scares me.  I was a totally different person, being so obsessed over such little things that most people thought I was crazy.  The difference between me and most people is I did succeed at doing it once, I did what most people failed at, and now I look forward wondering if I have what it takes...

When failure is not an option, I look forward to the first day of the rest of my life.